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Review: Dead or Alive Xtreme 2

Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 is a rare example of when a game knows exactly what it is and doesn’t try to do anything past that. This game knows that it’s nothing more than blatant fan-service, and it embraces that. About 5 seconds into the opening video, you know exactly what you’re in for as your screen is completely filled by a pair of boobs. The game is a lot more comfortable with what it is than its predecessor, as anyone who saw the pole dancing in the trailer can attest to. The question is, does the game have anything to offer other than a bouncing pair of breasts?

Gameplay
The Gameplay in DOAX2 is pitiful. Somehow, I actually think that the volleyball gameplay got worse from the first game. The partner AI got better and is a nice improvement, but the controls seem a little sluggish this time around. I kept wondering why there wasn’t some sort of system for either you or your partner to call a shot, which would’ve saved me from diving all over the court because my partner looked like she wasn’t going after any ball that wasn’t hit directly at her. There were too many instances where I would give the command to hit the ball only to see it fall at my feet. The controls in the jet skiing portion of the game I found to be much more pleasing. While they were not perfect, I never found myself getting angry at them like I did with the volleyball portion of the game.

There are several new mini-games to join the Hopping Game from the first DOAX. After purchasing the appropriate ticket from the shop, you will be able to engage in the Tug of War, the Water Slide, the Beach Flag game, and the completely shameless Butt Battle. These games are immensely frustrating and almost impossible to win. To date I have yet to win any of the competitive games other than the Flag game, and I still have not been able to finish the water slide. I guess I’m not 1337 enough for DOAX2. The competitive games, especially the Butt Battle and Tug of War, seem completely unfair, and suffer from the same sluggish control issue that volleyball suffers from. The Casino is also back in this game and is a much easier way to make money than actually playing volleyball or the other games. Most of the Casino is your standard fare, but I need to talk about the absurdity of the poker game. The AI is absolutely atrocious. I’ve seen opponents call my maximum bet with absolutely nothing in their hand. The betting is erratic to the point where each hand is literally a crap shoot.

Visuals
There are some very nice visual aspects in DOAX2. The opening cinematic is quite impressive and shows just how well the 360 can render hot chicks. The majority of the character motions are rather realistic, with one obvious exception, the boobs. I was actually shocked to see just what kind of physics had been applied to the breast motion in the game. Several times while playing the game I actually had to sit back and marvel in the absolute ridiculousness of it. There are some pretty amazing things happening on these ladies’ chests, ranging from the two breasts moving and bouncing completely independent of one another to a character standing still and having her breast start to move and jiggle spontaneously. Now I’m not complaining about it, I knew what I was getting into when I bought the game, but at times it’s downright unsettling. One thing that was taken out of the game that disappointed me was the zoom during the replay, considering the other shameless additions to the game, I figured they would have left them in. There’s also the nifty new addition of the girls being able to get tan lines. There are some problems with the visuals however, my main one being the hair. As some of you might have noticed in the various trailers to the game, there are issues where the hair tends to clip through a girls body at times. While not major, it is noticeable enough to distract you from the main attraction .

Sound
I wouldn’t have to devote a section to this if the sound in the game wasn’t so bad. The music in the game is just as bad as in the first. This isn’t be a very hard problem to fix, but its annoying none the less. The American voice acting in the game is absolutely horrible. I left it on for about an hour during my first play through, before having to change it to Japanese before I went completely insane. The voice work is poorly written, my favorite line was when I was playing Poker with Christie and when it came time to show our cards she exclaimed “Time to DIE!”, and is acted with an equal level of crapitude. I’m certain that after having some of the Japanese lines translated that the dialog is no less infuriating in that language, at least it sounds cute when they’re saying it.

Overall
I’m not really sure how to approach this review, should I treat this game as a sports title because it involves volleyball and jet skiing, or should I go with my gut and put this game in the same category as Baywatch? In the end it doesn’t really matter. This game is poorly executed at almost every turn. The gameplay doesn’t enhance the visuals like it should, rather it significantly detracts from them. The gameplay is the desert you have to walk through to get to the oasis of the boobs. There are not very many positive aspects to the game. The most disappointing thing about this game is the unrealized potential of the game (yes, I’m actually serious). Team Ninja could’ve easily improved the gameplay from the first DOAX and made this game pretty fun, but instead they put some polish on the first game and somehow made the gameplay worse. When you get right down to it, this game just isn’t fun. In the end there’s only one reason why you should buy this game, if you REALLY like boobs and are willing to sit through a lot of crap to get to them.

Final Score: 3/10 - Extremely Poor (How do we rank games?)

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28 comments on 'Review: Dead or Alive Xtreme 2'

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Downloading pr0n is cheaper too.

Comment by Voyager2k on 2006-12-01 02:02:14 | Reply

Get Viva Pinata and you can make pr0n yourself :)

Comment by Voyager2k on 2006-12-01 02:01:41 | Reply

Scary Boobs II Xtreme ? ^^

So this is the game I should showcase whenever I feel like selling 360’s to 13 year old nerds ?

Nice amusing review btw :) Made me smile lots (yes, the review did, not the boobies)

Horny 13 year olds would be a prime target. Make sure you set your age in game to 99 for max jiggle factor.

So does that actually work in this one?

…not that I’d know.

I tested it and there was a significant change in boob jiggling.

You gotta be kidding me :D

That scale should max out at ~20, for the really old folks the risk of a heart attack is too big ;)

Comment by trj156 on 2006-12-01 02:13:24 | Reply

real girls are better

Comment by BadIronTree on 2006-12-01 06:39:34 | Reply

no wayyyyy111!!!! :P

Comment by El $corpio on 2006-12-01 07:35:01 | Reply

surely it’s not that bad? 3/10?

It really is, I have to go out of my way to try and play this game over the other games that I own that are actually fun. Even when I do, I usually get absolutely sick of it after about half an hour.

DOA girls visit the FarCry island by the look of the graphics. The original was good, but this one looks like a 360 remake.

Comment by coojo on 2006-12-01 12:02:35 | Reply

only thing is they dont show us there tits

Comment by sCHOCOLATE on 2006-12-01 12:45:20 | Reply

Real girls PMS. Real girls complain that playing games is stupid compared to watching something like Gilmour Girls. Real girls(like real boys) will cheat for someone else who has more money/a bigger cod/bigger boobs. Real girls get old, ungracefully.

Are ‘real’ girls really better? No. They’re just real…[thinks about Pamela Anderson, recently divorced from Kid Rock, for a second]…And even then, they’re fake!

Comment by hurricanepilot on 2006-12-01 13:01:50 | Reply

Last time I checked (which I do frequently), you couldn’t stick your dick in Kasumi (without bursting her). So real girls are better ;)

Comment by Zleet on 2006-12-01 13:01:15 | Reply

Do you really want this appearing on your played games list?

You might as well change your gamertag to “I am a Virgin”.

Comment by hurricanepilot on 2006-12-01 13:03:12 | Reply

I’m going to play it offline, then quickly play a bunch of arcade titles before logging back in so that only the extremely curious will know I’ve got it.

Comment by Blabbermouth on 2006-12-01 15:46:09 | Reply

so if 1-3 knows they tell everybody and suddenly your friendlist is empty..and u just told everybody that ur a virgin..hahaa

only single virgin guys play this shit

Comment by sCHOCOLATE on 2006-12-02 02:53:18 | Reply

And what does the general population believe or stereotype about people who play any video games at all?

Nerds? Geeks? Shut-ins?

I’ll play what I want, when I want thanks. That is why I bought the box. GoW, Rez, Guitar Heroes, GRAW, DOAX2…whatever.

Comment by The_Glovner on 2006-12-04 12:51:26 | Reply

So you are a virgin then?

Comment by EUP]-[ORIC on 2006-12-04 05:50:16 | Reply

I can’t even believe that anyone would buy this game. Maybe on Xbox Live.

Comment by Kaj on 2006-12-06 07:18:55 | Reply

You know, Team Ninja never claimed that DOA(X) is a realistic depicting of real female bodies. The unrealism of it is what attracts players, and apparently, it doesn’t attract Alex.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t disappointed with the Girls in the game. I was disappointed that the gameplay was so bad I couldn’t continue to play it. And before you say that the game isn’t about gameplay, I played and enjoyed the first game. The gameplay in this one is really that much worse.

Comment by Kaj on 2006-12-07 18:02:18 | Reply

Fair enough. :)

Comment by STEVE on 2006-12-06 15:09:29 | Reply

(So you are a virgin then?)

I do not own this game but video games are like music. Everyone has thier own taste and you can’t label someone just because they like something that the mass majority does not. I think this game is retarded but I would never stereotype someone that bought it Glovner! Maybe it’s because I am a 43 year old adult and you are how old Glovner??? I would guess about 12!

not good, gameplay’s a joke.

Comment by Studley on 2006-12-10 00:50:43 | Reply

Urgh, played it for ten minutes today because it was on my online games rental queue, and they sent me it rather than something good. And boy is it bad. The review is spot on:

* The volleyball is awful, I played the original on the Xbox and it was actually a good game in itself, to the extent that I was able to convince my girlfriend to ignore the blatant boob show and enjoy a fun little game. This time around, the AI is hopeless, and the real focus of the game is on closeups of underwear in the replays.

* As per the original, you’ve got no chance of progressing in the game unless you take part in the Sims-like character building. I played two matches, won one and lost one, but my partner ditched me afterwards with no explanation. What the game didn’t tell you is that you have to buy gifts for your partner to keep them happy, that sort of thing, at least I guess you do because there’s fuck all in-game to tell you about this. And once your partner’s ditched you, you can’t play any more volleyball until you find another partner, and the game’s sure as hell not going to tell you how to do that. It probably involves presents again.

* Horrible, horrible soundtrack. At least the original had some kitsch classics on it, this time around it’s basically Hilary Duff and the Baha Men. Plus some girl band called Sweet Female Attitude who had one UK flop single in 2000, yet manage to get four awful songs which practically play on repeat during the game. And if you put a custom soundtrack on - I had Radiohead - it doesn’t fit in with the game and it all starts to seem incredibly seedy. Which it is.

* As the reviewer said, the game offers you all of these rubbish mini-games (and the volleyball, which is practically just a mini-game now anyway) as a way of getting more money, when high-stakes games against shoddy poker opponents in the casino will put you in the big money in no time.

* Horrid horrid cheesy two-minute CGI intro which can’t be skipped (well maybe it can the second time you play the game, but I only played it once, so christ knows)

And to make matters worse, there’s no “easy” achievements, so this game is stuck on my Recently Played Games list for absolutely no reason :(

HATE HATE HATE etc

Comment by mahmood ghorbani on 2009-01-20 07:13:03 | Reply

hi

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